Protecting Black Women is NOT Optional.

A convo about patriarchy, white supremacy, and how to protect Black women and hold other Black men accountable practically .

Okay, so I’m a straight Black man…

Now that that’s out of the way, and you’re still reading, I want to say thank you for sticking around. Lol

Jokes aside, this issue around “the battle of the sexes” between Black women & Black men on social media is one that I won’t solve in a Substack post. Nor would there be something new within our discourse as individuals that will change the course of our relationships going forward. I also know the amount of privilege that I speak from, just from being a man in a patriarchal society; however, I hope that this post finds you in good spirits and you can connect with your brother and know that I’m here and always by your side.

I started this Substack a few months ago, and so far, there are a total of 63 subscribers (hello, loved ones!), with most of the TAP subscribers being Black women. With specifics, there are a total of 52 Black women subscribed to my Substack, and with that understanding and responsibility, a convo about the patriarchy and topics related to that would be misaligned and weird for me to talk about to this audience of people who already know what they’ve BEEN living through. Preaching to the choir type shit.

So what I want to do is start with a call to action to all the Black women subscribed to TAP, if I can ask for one, is to send this post to two Black men one that you care about (your dad, brother, uncle, cousin, bf, bff, etc.) and a Black man that you don’t care too much for (the nigga that asked for your number at the gas station, the coworker that calls women “females”, the ex that ain’t shit etc.) I’ll make this post dedicated to speaking to them and to do my due diligence into holdin’ folk accountable.

With that being said, let’s get this shit.

My nigga, do you know what “Pandering” means?!

Look dog, let’s keep it real.

Do you really give a fuck about the woman that sent this to you?
Like be 100.

You are a grown man.

A grown ass man.

And let’s be honest brother, I’ve been just as ignorant and careless as you have, but we live in a different time now, my baby.

Let’s set the stage real quick.

We live in a Patriarchy.

Patriarchy is basically a system where men are in charge and have more power.

Whether that's in families, at work, or in society as a whole, it's been set up that way for a long time, and it affects how people are treated and what roles they’re expected to play.

Patriarchy is like if the world were a game and women are treated like yo lil cousin. When women ask to play the game, yeah, you’ll hand ‘em a controller (the feeling that they have a chance), but the controller ain’t plugged up.

Now here’s the thing, nigga YOU aren’t the reason why the controller ain’t plugged up, but it’s up to YOU to look out for your sister to make sure she’s in the game.

Cuz that’s what all this shit is dog, a game.

But why is it a game?

Where did this game come from?

Why are we playing a game?

Who set this game up?

The “game” is made for White Supremacy.

White supremacy is the belief that white people (specifically straight Christian white men) are better and more important than people of other races, and a system that puts that belief into action by giving more power, privileges, and opportunities to white people.

White supremacy is like the game designer. They made the console, wrote the rules, designed the maps n shit, then handed out the controllers. But they gave themselves the only real controller with all the buttons. Everybody else got the knock-off controller with the sticky buttons and missing pieces n shit.

And here’s the bold part, they made it so the game feels fair. They tell you, "Work hard, and you’ll level up." However, I forgot to mention to you that some players are using cheat codes built into the system.

So now you're in this game, moving, playing, trying to get yours, but the map ain’t even built for everybody to win.

ESPECIALLY Black women.

And if you not careful, you’ll spend your whole life blaming the wrong people instead of asking: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GAME?!”

The “game” is Capitalism.

Capitalism is an economic system in which individuals and businesses, rather than the government, own and operate enterprises. The goal is to make a profit, and factors such as prices, jobs, and products are primarily determined by competition and what people are willing to pay.

Capitalism is like an open-world video game where the main quest is “Get Money” but the richest players start with the best gear and cheat codes, n shit while everyone else is stuck grinding trying to at least get the proper equipment to keep the game going. Health, housing, education, all types of shit are behind paywalls, and every time you try to help someone, you’re losing the game.

It’s about PROFIT NOT PEOPLE.

The Game You Don’t Know You’re Playing

Okay, now that all of this has been said, what do these things have to do with each other?

What does this have to do with Black folks? Specifically, our role as Black men toward Black women?

Patriarchy, White Supremacy, and Capitalism all worked together well during slavery.

White Supremacy made sure that Black people were inferior and could be treated as property.

Patriarchy was upheld through controlling Black women’s bodies (sexual violence, forced reproduction), while denying both Black men and women traditional forms of power or protection.

Capitalism is the drive to turn Black bodies into profit.

These systems reinforced each other. White men gained wealth (capitalism), maintained racial power (white supremacy), and controlled gender dynamics (patriarchy), all through the exploitation of Black people.

How do these things apply to today, you might ask?

The World We’ve Been In

Black women are uniquely targeted under this system today, as workers, as property, as fodder. They carry TRIPLE the weight of racism, sexism, and economic exploitation. Black women are often left unprotected from exploitation with social media, with stigmas and stereotypes socially, politically, and most importantly within our own communities.

Take ZEUS Network, for example. What the fuck do we take away from being on ZEUS Network? Do you feel empowered or inspired by watching their content? Do you see yourself relating to their content? Or are you just glued to the screen because of seeing women beat on each other for your “entertainment?”

Whether it’s Baddies, "Pop the Balloon" content, 20v1s, or countless other forms of exploitative content you scroll past during your doomscrolling sessions, they all push harmful narratives. It takes forethought to recognize just how damaging these images are, especially to how we see ourselves as Black people.

In my last post about the sista who named her baby Donjulio, it’s clear something deeper is at work here. We need to stay mindful of this onslaught of propaganda being pushed on us, especially when it comes to how our women are portrayed.

As men, we should vocalize and call truth to power in these systems, because at the bare minimum we should speak out against this shit. Like Deante Kyle said, most of y’all be afraid of other men and mainly afraid of the confrontation. Well, if you feel that way, what do you think women feel? Watch episode 67 of the Grits & Eggs Podcast to get a good reading of what to do.

And y’all called him a panderer?! The moment we find someone in our community ready to stick up for black folks, it’s always some tap dancin’, white glove wearing ass Sambo around ready to discredit them and continue to fulfill the work of white supremacy even without them being mindful of it.

Brother, this is our call to action.

Hold space for yo sista.

Maintain sexual discipline.

Understand that the woman who sent you this is a human being. She’s just as much of a friend as you are with your homeboys; you have to see her as such. She deserves just as much protection as you’d give yourself.

For us (Black men), recognizing how these systems are connected means understanding that protecting Black women is about actively pushing back against a system designed to devalue and harm them. Black people have the most unique human experience on the face of the Earth, and Black women get the worst of it all.

The privilege that we have as men is something that we shouldn’t ignore; we should be mindful of it. I know that we’ve been seeing the influx of “niggas ain’t shit” rhetoric and a lot of misandrist platforms coming to life.

I know you don’t deserve to be the punching bag for the hate of men everywhere, but this is a byproduct of these systems in place. Yes, you have to have tough skin around this stuff because our sistas are hurt, dog.

They’ve lost trust in their fathers, their brothers, their uncles, cousins, family members, and community members, if you think that a person is just going to live in a society as a SPECTACLE, being ogled, used, and abused and supposed just to have a smile on their face and be cutesy and “feminine” or whatever the fuck, type of jacket you want to put on hurt Black women through all this shit then, my nigga you are THE PROBLEM and there’s no conversation around that. You gotta reprogram yourself.

My nigga, learn grace.
Learn patience.
Learn compassion. Learn self-awareness
Learn bravery to stand up for yo sista dog because she needs it.

We've got this; let’s step up to the plate and be the men our women need, because nobody can do it like us.

In short: if we want to break the game, we can’t just fight for ourselves dog, we have to fight for the ones the game targets the hardest. And that’s why protecting Black women is NOT optional.

If you don’t take anything from this, let our boy Cornbread be the voice of reason here. All we need to do is this:

Y’all be eazy!

- Jay²